It occurs to me I have become a misanthrope of sorts.
As I've mentioned before, I am not a loner (though I once thought so until I read this book and realized, "hey! that's not me!"), but an introvert. As an introvert and a quasi-ambidextrous (and therefore dual-brained) person, I take twice as long to process nonsense and crap before I figure out that it is nonsense and crap and therefore not worth my ire. This is very true, for example, of most of what I encounter on the Internet. Seriously folks, if I took every comment I either agreed with or didn't that is posted to every blog I read (talking mainly about The Very Serious Ones here) and responded emotionally to them, I would go batshit crazy in about a week. I just forced myself - forced myself, I tell you - to stop even visiting a certain blog because I had become embroiled in the most inane comment discussion about a certain television show. Don't get me wrong: I love discussing TV I love, or hate, or hate to love, or something like that. What was inane about the whole thing was that the person with whom I was having said discussion and I basically agreed about everything, but were just tied up in the logistics of our own perceptual filters.
I love perceptual filters. They influence everything we see, do , hear, watch. They color every conversation and interaction. And most people aren't even aware of their own and the role they play. Most people don't even realize they possibly - for example - view every mixed-race couple in mainstream media as a relationship of abuse and power, and so therefore the creator of a show which features such a couple is obviously a racist fetishist, because that's what she experienced in her own home. No, this is her opinion, and she is an educated and intelligent woman, ergo she is right and everyone else can just suck her left one.
People like that exhaust me and the Internet is full of them. Every article, popular blog, and flickr photo has someone who has apparently no other venue by which to voice his or her opinion and that opinion must be voiced.
Why? I have opinions every damn second of every day and keep them to myself and for good reason: The majority of them aren't worth the air I would use to speak. Added to that, aside from my obvious slacker-like tendencies today because (see blog title), who the fuck has the time to get that involved?
As I mentioned in a recent post, I have seriously cut down on my time spent in a certain TV-show-based fan forum. First it was all fun and games, but then I was ready to put someone's eye out. I suddenly felt weighed down by the sheer frustration of, oh, I don't know, the pointlessness of it all? Was discussing one particular character trait with someone I felt wasn't understanding the character's motivations changing my opinion of the character at all, and really who gives a fuck? Because when you boil it down, it's a TV show. And the characters? They aren't real. I like them. I enjoy looking at them and seeing how they grow or develop. But other people's opinions of them are no more real than the characters themselves. They are just blips on a screen that I wasted too much time reading. And those opinions I was sharing? As worthless as everyone else's.
Help me, online diary (that I post to in a public forum because in this mixed-up crazy 21st Century world, I have become as exhibitionist as the next assclown with a blog), help me let go of all these other opinions and their (seeming) importance so that I can continue to enjoy my Internet time and not feel I have to go find out what that jerk Anonymous is saying now!
As I've mentioned before, I am not a loner (though I once thought so until I read this book and realized, "hey! that's not me!"), but an introvert. As an introvert and a quasi-ambidextrous (and therefore dual-brained) person, I take twice as long to process nonsense and crap before I figure out that it is nonsense and crap and therefore not worth my ire. This is very true, for example, of most of what I encounter on the Internet. Seriously folks, if I took every comment I either agreed with or didn't that is posted to every blog I read (talking mainly about The Very Serious Ones here) and responded emotionally to them, I would go batshit crazy in about a week. I just forced myself - forced myself, I tell you - to stop even visiting a certain blog because I had become embroiled in the most inane comment discussion about a certain television show. Don't get me wrong: I love discussing TV I love, or hate, or hate to love, or something like that. What was inane about the whole thing was that the person with whom I was having said discussion and I basically agreed about everything, but were just tied up in the logistics of our own perceptual filters.
I love perceptual filters. They influence everything we see, do , hear, watch. They color every conversation and interaction. And most people aren't even aware of their own and the role they play. Most people don't even realize they possibly - for example - view every mixed-race couple in mainstream media as a relationship of abuse and power, and so therefore the creator of a show which features such a couple is obviously a racist fetishist, because that's what she experienced in her own home. No, this is her opinion, and she is an educated and intelligent woman, ergo she is right and everyone else can just suck her left one.
People like that exhaust me and the Internet is full of them. Every article, popular blog, and flickr photo has someone who has apparently no other venue by which to voice his or her opinion and that opinion must be voiced.
Why? I have opinions every damn second of every day and keep them to myself and for good reason: The majority of them aren't worth the air I would use to speak. Added to that, aside from my obvious slacker-like tendencies today because (see blog title), who the fuck has the time to get that involved?
As I mentioned in a recent post, I have seriously cut down on my time spent in a certain TV-show-based fan forum. First it was all fun and games, but then I was ready to put someone's eye out. I suddenly felt weighed down by the sheer frustration of, oh, I don't know, the pointlessness of it all? Was discussing one particular character trait with someone I felt wasn't understanding the character's motivations changing my opinion of the character at all, and really who gives a fuck? Because when you boil it down, it's a TV show. And the characters? They aren't real. I like them. I enjoy looking at them and seeing how they grow or develop. But other people's opinions of them are no more real than the characters themselves. They are just blips on a screen that I wasted too much time reading. And those opinions I was sharing? As worthless as everyone else's.
Help me, online diary (that I post to in a public forum because in this mixed-up crazy 21st Century world, I have become as exhibitionist as the next assclown with a blog), help me let go of all these other opinions and their (seeming) importance so that I can continue to enjoy my Internet time and not feel I have to go find out what that jerk Anonymous is saying now!
4 comments:
I must find this book and read it.
Come to think of it I must stalk your library thing more often
you know come to think of it I remember coming across a person on myspace in my travels who seemed to be a full contact blogger. She must have had more than 200 blogs, all of them veerrryy long and veeeeerrrrrrryy opinionated. The craziest thing was that each one I skimmed over had no less than 100 comments each. Who are these people who have all this TIME on their hands??? I suppose this is what they mean by armchair philosophers?
Hmm. . .an exhibitionist introvert?
Please to explain? :-)
For your information, Mr. Smartypants, introverts aren't shy. We simply find other people draining to our psyches...
ppppbbbbllllph!
I can be as exhibitionist as I want, as long as I have time to myself to recuperate.
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