For the record

I posted my new story this morning...and I haven't had one freak-out.

Okay, most of you already know about the story thing, but the no freak-out? - without a doubt a new one for me.

Just wanted to share.

Slut, Bitch, Cu...

At one of my favorite book blogs, Jessa Crispin responds to criticism of her blog title.

Oh dear. Still processing, but I think it important to say that I understand some women have problems with the word "slut." I do not have that problem. Nor bitch. Cunt, maybe. Sometimes. But this woman's assertion that I am "a slut for Thomas Mallon" is really too funny to even respond to. My riled up inner feminist gets mightily pissed off at the assertion that I am harming women by running Bookslut, however. Maybe we should have a cleaned up version of the site for sensitive feminists, put some pants on the chiquita up on top, change it to Book Lady of a Certain Character. Bookladyofacertaincharacter.com is, believe it or not, available.

I respect the right to free speech. I even respect the right of free opinion. I am one of those sensitive feminists who does - on occasion - object to the word slut. My thoughts are complicated on this matter. I am a feminist, which, depending on your personal definition of the word, means I am either completely humorless, or I hate men (anyone who knows me knows neither is true). If one were to look up the official definition (of feminism) it would read as such:

NOUN:1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. 2. The movement organized around this belief.

As I stated earlier, I do not believe we live in a time wherein the above is true. Still.

Words are powerful creatures. I love them. They hold so much within them. They convey small earthquakes of emotion. They can cause young women to hurt themselves. They can damage children without one hand raised against them. But they are also just a collection of letters whose meaning goes no further than the intent with which they are used. And that's where my complicated feelings come in. I think we may all agree that calling a young woman a slut because it is believed she has sex is not only detrimental, it is also hypocritical (as there is no comparative word for young men who have sex). Slut is a very popular word still thrown around too many social groups to imply how scared people are of women who own their sexual pleasure. And it's not just men who use it. So a bunch of sexually empowered women decided to take ownership of the word and embrace it. And because words are just a collection of letters with no more meaning than the intent behind them, I applaud that. Change the intent and you can change the word.

Except. Except. Except...

We still live in a sexually repressed, yet pornographic, society that sexualizes young women while shaming them for wanting to have sex. And I'm beginning to believe that ownership of the word isn't enough. Without actual social change (in which our culture's attitudes, values, and policies toward women are adjusted), calling myself a slut of any kind will do nothing except amuse those friends I have who already believe the same as I do.

So I'm stuck.

I applaud Jessa Cripsin for defending her right to call her website whatever she wants, for believing her personal ownership of the word slut (combined with her support of sexual pleasure for pleasure's sake) is enough. Perhaps it is. And I believe she has every right to make that choice. I honestly have no answers here. But I do know I have avoided buying a Bookslut t-shirt for this very reason. If I can convey my love of books and reading without using a word whose usual intent is to shame women, then that's my choice.

Another Note (and completely unrelated): I will be out of pocket for a few days as I go home to visit family. So no new blogs, no blog reading, barely email checking until Monday. Miss me?

I leave you with my favorite cartoon, sent to me by someone (AMC? Beka? - sorry I don't remember which. Sorry!).