The Introvert Steps Out

Last night I began my volunteer training at the most awesome place in the world. I don't think I've been more excited about anything in years. The training is comprehensive - 40 hours in a month - and is so respected that other local programs that serve the community send their employees and volunteers there. After the training I am hoping to go into one of the many children's services programs, or the community education program. Or both. Who knows. Right now I am on that high that could threaten to cause burnout, but at least I'm aware of the possibility and will hopefully take the steps necessary to take care of myself.

There were over thirty women there and two fantastic speakers who - while they didn't say anything I wasn't already aware of - reinforced what I had already determined to be true in a way that kept me engaged.

Something came up, though, that I need to vent about for a moment. During a brief discussion about the insidious ways in which our culture has become pornographic, emphasizing the sexualized violence against women as a norm, a young woman brought up points I hear too often these days, about how women "perpetuate" this culture by buying into it, about how "competitive" we are with each other. It wasn't the time for debating, so I kept my mouth shut, hoping the subject would return at a later time.

There is a difference between perpetuating behaviors and just not seeing them. If I see an ad which I find offensive and misogynistic and I do not speak up, or I purchase said product, then I am perpetuating the problem. If I don't even see it because it has become a normal part of my cultural life, then I am like most women who live in this world. Think about it this way: for hundreds of years it was normal for women to not have the right to vote or own property or determine their own futures. And so the majority of women who lived in those times did not speak out or fight for what we accept as a natural right. Were they perpetuating the system? Or being oppressed? When you live under oppression, you do not even see what is wrong in front of you. Trust me when I say our culture is still and will continue to find ways to oppress us. It is now normal for us to look at ourselves and each other with judgment as to our looks, our clothes, our weight. It is normal for us to see billboards, commercials, and television shows that depict women as sex objects whose only purpose is to provide for men's visual and physical pleasure.

Normal doesn't mean right.

And the next time someone points out to you this study or that study which states how competitive women are with each other, look at them with an arched eyebrow (or both if you can't go all Spock-like) and say, "Men aren't competitive?" We live in a combative culture which places might over right all the time. And yet I have yet to see an article in Time Magazine breaking down all the ways men compete on a social level. Because that's just not news in our world. I have become convinced these articles and studies serve no other purpose than to undermine the feminist movement by continuing the campaign of blaming the victim. Don't get me wrong, I don't see women as victims by definition. I do see that it has become fashionable to point the finger at us as a gender as to our own lack of success in seeking full equality. Because as long as we're blaming ourselves, we won't band together and resist outside forces who are working to keep us in our places. There is nothing newsworthy about these studies and to give them credence is to accept such finger pointing as normal.

Normal does not mean right.

This is not about politics

Truth be told, I'm not too crazy about the video, which starts out great in outlining the blatant sexism that is allowed in today's media, but then segues into the sexist aspects of the media portrayal of Hillary's campaign. It's not that I don't believe sexism has played a part (as is apparent from the video), it's that there is so much more out there they could have used. Just from the big three news outlets alone, they could have shown how pervasively sickening the levels of what is allowed to be said about women on what are supposed to be shows about the news. Go here and watch it anyway. Sign up for news from the Womens Media Center, because until we all start speaking out, it is going to continue. Period.

Destiny and the Reluctant Heroine

I just finished reading Wicked Lovely, by Melissa Marr, and now I'm one of those freakish book ladies who want to run around to everyone and thrust it into their hands and say, "You simply must read this book!" Unfortunately, I no longer work for mega bookstore chain and therefore don't have the opportunity to do so. This makes me sad. Because, really, unless you are someone dead set against reading smart urban fantasy with excellent writing, you will enjoy this book.

I notice an ongoing theme in the urban fantasy genre that I appreciate wholly: that of the smart female protagonist. In a world dominated by male heroes in both our fantasy (Harry Potter, LoTR, Heroes, most comic books written by men) and "reality" (anything else, most specifically crime shows which may contain strong female characters, but always have a male in the lead - CSI, Without a Trace, Law & Order, I'm lookin' at you!), I have long been one of those pop culture fans waiting for producers to get it - that women can lead the way and viewers will follow. There is a reason The Closer is the #1 cable drama on TV, people. And while I appreciate things are much much better than they used to be, I do get tired of watching the female lead play second fiddle to her charismatic, brilliant male lead co-star (even when that charismatic co-star is someone I admire greatly!).

The same trend has been weaving its way through the young adult publishing industry. In the past few years, an uproar has been raised about the sad state of boys and their reading habits. Apparently, boys don't read. Actually, they do read, just not what the book industry wants them to. So to pull these "reluctant readers" away from their video game guides, the Internet, comics books, and manga, the publishing industry is greenlighting books hoping to pull them to novels. And of course, these novels must feature a male protagonist. The guiding philosophy here is that girls will read books about boys wherein boys won't read books about girls. So instead of addressing why we've created a society in which boys won't read books with female lead characters, publishers are churning out mass produced formulaic crap. And any girl who wishes to read new fantasy or adventure will finish her Kiki Strike and dutifully pick up the newest Artemis Fowl for lack of anything else. And the world can retain its balance of power with a new generation of young women expecting young men to always be the charismatic brilliant hero of the tale.

Enter into this arena a cache of amazing and dedicated writers who think this is a load of crap. From Charles de Lint to Holly Black, to Emma Bull and many others (most listed under the original Urban Fantasy entry), contemporary young adult fantasy writers have figured out what most of us have known all along, male and female readers want and need to see women in the lead. And while, sadly, the entertainment industry has only Joss Whedon doing the same for movies and TV, at least he is doing so while flying his feminist freak flag proudly.

I have noticed a beautiful and realistic trend in these offerings that you don't normally see in your male-dominated counterparts, reluctance. Not so much out of fear (though that may play a part), but because these young women have plans for their lives and truly don't want some destiny laid upon them by The Powers That Be to interfere. One of my favorite aspects of most of these novels is the creative ways in which our heroines fight to keep their lives as normal as possible - high school, friends, boyfriends, college. These young women have goals for themselves that don't always involve drinking fairy wine at an endless faire and dancing their newly immortal lives away. And in the case of Aislinn, our protagonist from Wicked Lovely, these future plans are so important as to be the crux upon which helping is even considered. And that, I believe is as important as having a female lead at all. If your heroine is going to give up her mortal life to save fairy-verse and not even bother to secure her own growth and future, she may as well marry the proverbial prince and live happily ever after in Disney-esque security.

If you haven't delved into the world of which I speak, I heartily recommend the Holly Black Trilogy (Tithe, Valiant, Ironside), Emma Bull's War for the Oaks (a tad dated, but still a new classic), de Lint's Jack of Kinrowan, and the book that started this whole blog.

PS, Also watched the King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters this weekend. Please please please do yourself a favor and see this movie. In the wake of a movie-going year in which we've had to endure countless hours of how cruel, empty, and hopeless the world truly is, seeing the absolute decency of (real human being and not movie character) Steve Wiebe in his quest to become the best at something- in spite of the oddly menacing strong arm tactics of his cult of personality obsessed adversaries- will fill you with joy and hope. I kid you not.